Large Hadron Collider Fired Up… Most of us are still here…
September 10, 2008 (Computerworld) Today’s successful test run of a massive particle collider is being called “one of the great engineering milestones of mankind.”
On Wednesday morning, just outside of Geneva, scientists shot a particle beam fully around a 17-mile loop in the world’s most powerful particle accelerator — the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). Twenty years after development of the collider began, a particle beam made the full journey around the accelerator for the first time.
Amazing. My birthday was yesterday and I thought it might be my last. Whew! I’m still here. Of course, I can’t say the same for everyone in France (I’m not there). If you’re in France, look around… is everyone still there? Let me know.
Now don’t start a panic. I haven’t heard anyone actually say that people are missing in France or that France itself is missing, I just haven’t heard otherwise. The Large Hadron Collider also goes under part of Switzerland, so if you are in Switzerland do a quick body part check and make sure you are all there. Also look for extra parts… you never know what particle colliders might actually do. Missing walls in your house are also a bad sign.
I’m fairly confidant that Germany is safe… for awhile anyway. Just a thought, if you’re in Germany and you see a lot of bewildered looking French people you may need to worry. Particularly if they are glowing. DO NOT APPROACH GLOWING FRENCH PEOPLE. As a general rule, particle colliders aside, I never approach glowing French people. It’s just common sense.
So I’m still here, you’re still there (you must be if you are reading this) and I didn’t write this in French so we really don’t know about France. The Swiss are neutral, so they should be okay.
Just remember, I haven’t confirmed any of this so don’t go selling off your French stocks. Same goes for United Airlines stock. However, if you happened to be on a United Airline flight flying over France… well you might have a problem.
Also, this was just a test run. If the Collider is still there, then when they start really smashing atoms together at speeds close to that of light, we may see some real fireworks… or not, as the case may be.
My advice… don’t live in France, take your money out of Swiss banks, don’t approach glowing French people anywhere. It’s just common sense.
Posted: September 10th, 2008 under Just Plain Silly.
Tags: France, French, Hadron Collider, missing people
Comments: none



400 Trees and Shrubs for Small Spaces
About the author, Diana Miller






Media: Senator McCain, can you tell us your position on the state of the economy in America?
JMcC: Well, you see, when I was a POW in Vietnam I did not have an opportunity to participate in the American economy.
Media: OK… how about health care reform. Would you like to tell us your thoughts about health care reform?
JMcC: You know, when I was a POW in Vietnam I did not receive any health care whatsoever. In fact, they were quite mean to me.
Media: Err… yes. Well, we know you have strong opinions about the war in Iraq. Would you mind sharing them with us.
JMcC: Ladies and gentlemen, may I present your next vice president, SARAH PALIN!! YEEEEEHAAWWWW!!
SP: (whispering to JMcC) What do I say?
JMcC; (whispering to SP) It doesn’t really matter. I just needed to find a female in the GOP, and you certainly have the qualifications for that!
SP: I’m a pitbull sent by God!! Argh!!!
Media: My goodness!! We are certainly glad to meet you, Mrs. Palin!
SP: I’m a pitbull sent by God!! Argh!!!
Media: Indeed you are! Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
SP: I’m a pitbull sent by God!! Argh!!!
Media: I see. Well, I’m sure the American people would love to hear the platform you are running on. Please?
SP: I’m a pitbull sent by God!! Argh!!!
Media: Got it. Senator McCain, back to you, then. Our audience would love to hear your positions on the major issues facing the country today.
JMcC: Hey! Did he just say “lipstick”. He can’t say that! I’m the one with the chick on my ticket (hehe)! Did you all hear him say “lipstick” It’s an outrage!!!